I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
