i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize
