I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
