I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize