So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
