**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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