is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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