I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
