cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
