Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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