I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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