sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize