Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
my poor anus
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
