Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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