Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
