What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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