Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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