I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
