Porn is love you can see.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
