i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
