tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
