Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
