hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
organizing the empties. That sober.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
