just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
