pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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