there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize