ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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