I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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