You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
