I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
