Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
