dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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