VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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