just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
