I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The adults are the big ones right?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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