I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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