I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
