Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
