and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
