I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
