just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
