my room smells like sperm. sweet.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize