Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
