When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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