NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
