I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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