Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
