So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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