Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
