and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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