Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
