So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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