Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
