You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I supernannyed him into submission
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize