Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
