We're facebook friends in real life
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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