Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
