her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
