Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize