Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
