How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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