Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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