I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
