I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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