Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
