I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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