You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
