Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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