That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
