I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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