he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize