This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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