So drunk its hurt
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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