Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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