That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
