Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
