I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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