: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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