Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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