I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
