I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
