I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
