u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
