I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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