I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
